By Muzhinga Kankinda
As the entire country awaited the dawn of the independence morning, news about a young woman in her twenties slitting her wrist after readily catching her boyfriend cheating spread like a wild fire around the campus of the renowned University where the lady is currently pursuing her degree in Nursing. Fellow students were dismayed about this sudden development and the fact that she was in a critical state at that moment frightened everyone who knew her.
Therefore, the question is; is this scenario worthy of being called love or perhaps it is obsession or stupidity. Obviously there would a flood of responses to the above questions. Some rational and some irational based on feelings and emotions. However, the adage ” a woman can be be in love and be reasonable at the same time’ was proven true by this incident. It is evident that young women nowadays have neglected the value of self-love amd respect for themselves due to how the world has come up with a new redefined version of love which is not love but appears to be so. There is nothing wrong with having feelings of affection towards someone else but, to the extent of attempting suicide for them is another story; a story that is devoid of love and filled with prevalent obsession, lack of rationality and perhaps the existence of a mental health disorder that needs attention immediately. Loving someone to the point where it doesn’t matter if you lose yourself is not true love; it is an obsession in disguise, one that would lead to the destruction of one who fills it’s burns throughout the relationship. As cruel as it may sound, imagine if this young lady had died that fateful day? What would have been the gain in her actions?
Women around are world are constantly losing their identify and persona in the name of love, forgetting the values of love and respect for self while they attain the prestigious status of being in a relationship with this man or that man. The pride of a woman has shifted from the aspect of being cultured and well-mannered to the aspect of having a boyfriend of whom life without them is useless and meaningless. Women have forgotten the essence of having dreams, building them and seeking to be the best version of themselves. Their identity as a woman and as a human man being capable of making informed decisions have being replaced with society’s version of what life should be like. As a result, we will continue to hear about such suicidal stories of love. However, it is of utmost importance that young ladies avoid chasing men instead of their dreams. They should stop focusing on suicidal missions if they are not treated well by their partners. Rather, focus on rebuilding the broken walls of their hearts and strive to be the person that your ex-partner would regret ever hurting you and letting you down like that. But, that should not be your reason for living; live happily because you deserve it and be a high value woman like Dr. Antonio Borrello emphasises on. Killing yourself, being depressed, losing sleep and your identity as a dignified woman is not going to stop him from leaving or cheating; infact, this will only feed his ego and worsen his bad behavior towards you.
The world is full of different kinds of people and among these people, there are a span of wonderful men who have genuine love to give to you . If this man is not into you just as much as you are, let him go; he is not the right person for you. Stop obssessing over him to the point where you feel life without him is meaningless; clamp down all the castles you built in the air about the two of you move on to greener pastures. You are worthy it and you deserve the very best of I life and relationships.