By Muzhinga Kankinda
In recent times, there has been a lot of deliberations concerning the issue of blessers and blessees lifestyles. This culture has taken monopoly over other ways in which youth especially girls aged 15 to 24 make money and sustain their cost of living. Just like an epidemic, the lifestyle seems to be spreading at a high speed especially among school girls and young women from the University. South Africa, Zambia, Kenya, Malawi, Uganda and many more countries in Africa are victims of this practice which has been difficult to curb due to the level of poverty as well people living in impoverished conditions. The term blesser is a slang for a rich man who offer financial and material support to young girls and women in exchange for sex and campanio ship. Most of these men are married older men who prey on poor and financially needy girls and young women by providing them with gifts, lavish lifestyles and money in exchange for sex and other favors.
The female who receive these gifts and conform to the demands of the blessers are referred to as blessees. The blessees are often from poor backgrounds thus, their aim is usually to have their way out of poverty through selling their bodies and would for money. They look up to older wealthy men for solutions and thus, they are at the risk of being targeted and exploited by the blessers. The blesser/blessees culture is a combination of prostitution, sugar daddy lifestyle and pedophilia of which experts have alleged to be a contributing factor to the rise of people infected with HIV/AIDS. It has been estimated that a country where sex has become a transaction between sexually unsatisfied wealthy older men and impoverished girls has about 2000 girls ages 15 to 24 getting in infected with HIV every week.
According to experts, there are three categories of a blesser/ blessee relationship. The first category constitutes of a relationship where a blessee receives cell phone credit and data in exchange for sex; the second category is when a girl receives fancy hair extensions, clothes, handbags and perhaps a visit to a local club in town for companionship, sex or other favors, in the third category, the blesser purchases expensive gadgets and accessories for his blessee which may include things like an iPhone, jewerly or even an expensive vehicle and lastly, the four category is the highest level and includes trips abroad for vacation or shopping. Blessees who want this kind of treatment usually have to work hard and prove themselves to earn it.
Effects of having a blessers can have a bad toll on the blessee’s mental health as well as their life as a whole. These include the following:
- A blesses are owned a blesser as he determines blessee’s worthiness as a human being.
- The blessees are obligated to neglect their errands in order to fulfill the demands of the blesser.
- The blessees have no choice than to oblige to unsafe sex. Hence, they risk contracting HIV, STDs and unwanted pregnancies.
- Blessees share their blessers with multiple women including their wives if married.
- Blessees sell their body and soul for money and gifts.
- Blessees are a commodity for sale and human beings.
It is important to know that becoming a blessee is risking your life and your future for pleasures that last for a short while. This is because blessers always end up leaving in search for greener pastures after a few nights with a girl. Especially when a girl contracts a disease or becomes pregnant. This is due to the fact that blessers do not have respect for the girls they get involved with in that, they are deemed as commodities. They take pleasure in using people for sex and dumping the because they are controlled by lust due to the sexual predatory traits that exists in them. With the decrease in economic stability of countries and the rise of poverty levels, the blesser Culture is bound to heighten to a peak never imagined before and it is important that young girls and women be weary and take care of of themselves to avoid involvement with blessers and risk getting infected with HIV or getting pregnant.