When we just met it was like any secret relationship. Lots of attention, obsession, the constant feeling of being high. I couldn’t get enough of you because you were always there to pick me up when I fell down. Then things changed. Even though you used to make me feel good physically, you had this way of making me feel terrible about myself. Then came the realization that you were lying to me, I realized you were in a relationship with almost all my friends. I was a fool to let you into my life and believe your lies and I am not going to spare your feelings because dear pornography ( add your addiction) I am glad things are over between us, stop trying to contact me.
The above break-up letter was written by Jason Mahr and it illustrates the relationship we have with our addictions, toxic relationships to emphasize. Yet still we have to break up with our addictions for us to have better healthy relationships with ourselves and those around us.
Recovery from your addiction is a journey that requires uncomfortable honesty with oneself. Be honest, have you ever say down and inventoried all the things that bug you: the childhood trauma, masked up rage, your fury with the government or traffic or global warming or racism!? For you to recover your connection to your intended path you must commit to the process of self discovery and recovery, you must get involved in your recovery.

It is a new year and I want us to begin the year with a zeal to recover from whatever it is that is weighing us down. In this write up I’m going to share the 12 steps to recovery which is most common with alcohol addiction recovery. However, these steps can be applied to any addiction as well as any challenge pertaining to relationships. The 12 steps have been categorized into 9 main Biblical principals so that we can view the steps as a lifestyle. So let’s begin looking at the steps to recovery;


The first step to recovery is admitting that you are powerless over your addiction and that your life has become unmanageable. This is the beginning of healing. Step one is admitting that you can’t control yourself anymore and you need help. Romans 7:19-22 “I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart.
The first step helps us realize that we must give up our power to gain God’s power and that our actions are not appropriate.


Step two requires you to believe that a power greater than you (God) can restore you to sanity. You realize that when Mulenga or Diane ( put your name) is in charge, Mulenga gets into trouble. Philippians 2:12-13 “Dear friends, you always followed my instructions when I was with you. And now that I am away, it is even more important. Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear. For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.”
This is having faith that God will restore you to sanity cause on your own it is not possible.


You then make a decision to turn your will and life over to the care of God as you understand Him. Romans 12:1 “And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.” This means you no longer make decisions by yourself. When you want to make a decision you look to God.


The principal of self assessment encompasses two steps, steps four and five. Step for requires you to make a searching and fearless moral inventory of oneself. Lamentations 3:40 “ Instead, let us test and examine our ways. Let us turn back to the lord.” A moral inventory cannot be done without God.
In step five, one admits to God, to oneself, and to another human being the exact nature of their wrongs. James 5:16 “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.”


In step six you become entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. You are ready to give him all the bad things you have done. James 4:14-15 “ How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.”


Confession has steps seven and eight infused. In step seven you humbly ask Him to remove your short comings for He is faithful to forgive us(read 1John 1:9).
With step eight, you make a list of all person’s you have harmed and be willing to make amends to them all. Do unto others as you would like them to do unto you.


Steps nine and ten are covered in this category. Step nine ensues you to make direct amends to such people (the ones you hurt) wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. Offer forgiveness to those that have hurt you and make amends to those you have offended (Matthew 5:23,24).
In step ten, continue taking personal inventory and when wrong promptly admit it. This intells that on a daily basis you take a look at what you did during the day, what needs fixing, or what good you did.


Seek through prayer and meditation to improve conscious contact with God as you understand Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. Reserve a daily time with God for self examination, bible reading and prayer in order to know God and His will (Colossians 3:16). This is the eleventh step.


Step twelve states, “Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, one must carry this message to addicts, and practice these principles in all affairs”. Once these steps have helped you, you must take the good news of your recovery (Galatians 6:1).

As we go through this year, plan to live a better life, commit to being the best you can and all this is possible when you give over your power so that you can receive greater power. A blessed year of recovery.



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