Have you ever wondered why we get attracted to some people over others? Why you form relationships with some people and not others? The simple answer to these questions is proximity.
This is to say we form relationships with people because they are the ones close to us. If you think about it, it makes a lot of sense. When you were a child many of your friends were those from the neighborhood. When in University, you probably formed relationships with those who were your room or hostel mates than those from other hostels. Even as an adult you will find yourself forming relationships with neighbors or people you work with.
Of course, proximity is not the whole answer. We also need to come in contact with other people in that them being physically close to us does not mean we actually encounter them. An example would be you living in flats (apartments). There can be someone who lives directly above you or directly below you which makes these people physically close to you yet you don’t necessarily meet.
Let’s look at it this way, the person directly above lives in the same apartment building yet uses another door way than you use, this means you don’t encounter them even when they are close to you physically. For people who are near us, and we actually come in contact with, the phenomenon is referred to as perpetuity. More than being physically close, we encounter them, we see them more often. In other words, when something is more familiar we have the tendency to like it more.
The last thing we can consider in forming relationships is that we form relationships with people of similar backgrounds and views. Opposites do not attract when it comes to relationships. When it comes to long term relationships, we tend to find similar people. This is referred to as homogamy. So why do we form relationships with similar people!?
Part of the reason is that when other people share our views, it provides a sort of affirmation that our views of the world are accurate and correct; they are the right views to hold.
These are some of the startup explanations to the phenomenon of attraction yet they are not complete. In the next two or three write ups we will explore more answers to attraction. Stay attracted to the rest of the week.