PoeticThursdays: Odes of a brokenheart.

Image by Muzhinga Kankinda.

Midnight hour; I am still wide awake.
My eyes won’t close because sleep won’t grace my bed.

Every day of my nights are filled with insomnia as I am lost in reverie of things I would like to redo;

Turn back the hand of time, will you?
I want to forget the rejection and the pain; the anxiety I feel in my brain.

Why does it linger on when I want to forget what I remember?. It is a curse that can be washed only by healing rain.

Turn back the clock, undoing all the hurt; I want to be strong like before, unable to be fazed by your piercing gaze. I want to go back to those days; the days when I didn’t know you.

You just tell me how to unknow you, erase my highly fruitful anamnesis of your sweet talk and hypnotizing words.

Your tongue is sharp, I cannot listen anymore because just like a whirlwind, your words come and go.

I am not a rock; I feel things too; feelings of hurt when my emotional quotient is wounded by your insensitivity; feelings of love and joy when you cure me of that pain you’ve caused, lighting up my world.

You fill me with euphoria and take it all away in one blow; shattering my heart into pieces, making me growl; Despising myself for letting you in once more.

Brokenhearted girl, song by Beyoncé

But then you appear when I am moving on, putting all shattered pieces together in one place. And I forgive you, forgetting to remember that it is a sequence; a cycle to be repeated perhaps for eternity.

Tell me how to unknow your soul then I won’t let you wound me and heal me later. I do not want you to have the power to feed me anymore, for it is equivalent to your power to starve me.

I was wrong; so please free me from your prison without bars. It’s like a taste of freedom yet, I am a prisoner enslaved by my desire for you, unable to let go despite knowing you are my tragedy and not my remedy

If I knew it would lead to this; I would prayed never to meet you. Although I must live with the consequences of opening my ears to talks about you; opening my heart to let you stay in; warm and comfy, I will not do an injustice to my very soul by giving you a place in the palace of my heart.

You don’t deserve my time and energy and one of these days, I will barely remember your name and when that time comes, you will have lost the best thing that ever happened in your life.

Till then, I keep crying for freedom…set me free I whisper.

Image by Muzhinga Kankinda.

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